This is unreal

Lets get Rowdie in here!

Greg Gilbertson

Extreme Beer Fest 2006 - Boston, MA

Myspace

I have a problem. I have become addicted to Myspace. I am a loser and I blame the reason for having this blog in the first place solely on Myspace. It is pathetic, an absolute waste of time. It has started to sicken me, the way people get on this website, and manage to somehow ingratiate themselves while at the sametime make themselves look like even bigger dusch-bags on-line then in real life. It's astounding how some 42 year old schmuck from Melville, Long Island thinks he is a woman's dream come true, and aggressively seeks out younger women. And then to have to see some of my friends write comments on other peoples (ladies)Myspace pages that make them come off like completely over sensitive twits with tiny penis', I don't want to have to see you butter up some chick online, keep that for e-mail.

The guy who introduced me to Myspace lasted about three weeks, after he realized he was spending more time stalking women and e-mauling them then working and maintaining a REAL social life, he canceled his page and never returned. Good for him I say. He got in and got out. I can't.

Myspace has become a cultural phenom, able to grasp the attention of hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people from many different demographical backgrounds, mostly people with nothing much to do, pretty bored with their job, life, relationships, what have you. Myspace gives them a chance to believe that they are someone special, that people care about their interests, with the promise of possibly meeting a prospective date, or being showered with compliments about the fucking standard Myspace photo taking with the bathroom mirror, striking some stupid pose or revealing body parts and the lame tribal tatoos that accompany them.

I call these people MySpacials, they forgo doing the normal things in life, like work, have relationships, intereact with others, leave their rooms. A sure sign that someone has become or is a Myspacial is that they have figured out to change the background of their page, and add other accessories via HTML or Photobucket. Most Myspacials pages are so overloaded with pictures of celebrities, beer ads, music videos, etc., etc., that they need about ten servers with enough bandwidth to keep NASA's Space Program running just to get it to load.

Regardless, it is a disgusting display of what has happened with American culture, which has declined in morals and formality to such a degree that walking through a high school anywhere in this country is as though you've walked into a Ludacris video.

I place the blame of our decline in morals solely on the shoulders of Britney Spears, yes Britney you whore, I mean who drives a car with a 9 month old baby in their lap? Who are these people? The minute the "Oop's I Did It Again" video was released the Christian Coalition's Jesus' Morals Meter sank to an all time low. Hey, don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing young women dancing around in school girl outfits just as much as the next guy. And if women are willing to do so, more power to them. But it is not the scantly clad women that bother me, it's the way we as rational human beings are fed this bullshit, day in and day out. Everytime Lindsay Lohan farts I have to hear about it, everytime Nick LeDucschbag left the seat up US Weekly has a four page spread on it. Just keep feeding me, and feeding me.

I will repeat, who are these people, and why do so many people care? This ties directly into Myspace, it offers the chance for other people to look into another's life. We allow it to happen just by having a Myspace page, fuck, I am doing it right now with this fucking blog...do you think anyone cares? I mean do you really care what I just wrote...how interesting could I possibly be? If you have read this far you have some serious issues, but then again you probably have a Myspace page and no life, with just about a billion other people, so welcome to the club. Where was I? Oh yeah, if you want people to think you're a celebrity own a Myspace page. Wait, that wasn't it. If you're pathetic own a Myspace page. No, that wasn't it either. Ah, fuck it I give up.

A testament to my Myspace loserhood, my girlfriend keeps declining my friend requests.

...ATTACK

Jack...

Rich & Ali