Dog Fed Beer...and Donuts

So heres this dog that was fed nothing but beer and donuts, Princess Di. What a life, this dog.

Morning Decisions:

Coffee or Tea?

Which one should I have?

In teas favor, I drank a lot of gin last night and smoked about a pack of Parliments and I've always felt that tea has a cleasning quality to it that refreshes and alleviates the stresses that toxicans put on your body.

Other then that, I had about three hours of sleep last night and a nice kick in the ass from a jet black steaming cup of french roast might do the trick.

I went with the coffee.

Man, do I wish I were a dog. They get to lay around all day, spazz for a little while, crap outdoors (without having to wipe their ass), and sniff the crotches of total strangers. Us, on the other hand follow these animals around, clean up their mess (including their poop), buy them hundreds of the same retarded squeaky toy, get licked, bit, and slobbered on, and awakened at all hours of the night to go outside an watch the dog stand there sniffing the air.

It's incredibly unfair.